Seek help when in need
The gift of life
Our College community has experienced great sadness following the death of Bruno Wolnicki last weekend.
Bruno’s life is completed, but the gift of his life remains in our memories, in the way in which our lives intersected with his, and how we continue to be affected as a result of our relationship with him. Bruno’s tragic death reminds us how fragile life can be and helps us consider what is important in this gift called life.
At times of sudden death, we are tormented by questions such as ‘Why?’ and ‘What if?’ There are some questions we can never answer; questions we have to carry. There are questions we must let go of, not to keep us trapped in the past. Sometimes we just cannot know, we must simply surrender as best we can. Most of us find it hard to surrender in this way. It is ultimately a journey of faith.
At assembly this week, I plan to speak about the gift of life and our responsibility to care for it and to develop it to the best of our ability. There are times to be direct and I plan to be very clear; suicide is permanent, but problems are temporary. No problem is permanent, no problem is such that we cannot find a solution, cannot find a work-around. I will remind boys, when confronted with a seemingly overwhelming problem, of their obligation to talk with someone they trust – friend, parent, House Dean, teacher, coach, whomever – but communicate.
I grew up with the Marlboro Man archetype that presented a long-lasting impression on what it meant to be a man: silent, strong, hard-working, and a clearly defined sense of masculine pride. Such adaptations of masculinity carry with them significant problems. Our role, as teachers and parents, is to help boys and men navigate such restrictive definitions of masculinity and present a more tender representation of what it means to be male. We cannot leave this to chance or have expectations that are ambiguous and accidental.
We wish to create fine young men who are gentle and sensitive. We want them to be affectionate and loving, and, importantly, men who are not afraid to expose their pain, their vulnerability and seek help when in need. Together, we must strive to promote healthy intimate relationships in boys and men, where healthy relationships are defined and characterised by respect, emotional intimacy and mutuality.
I take heart from the kindness and compassion shown across our community as we have collectively begun to express our grief and support for one another, especially the support shown to the Wolnicki family.
Your son(s) can be affected in a range of ways when they hear about the death of someone they know, or don’t know. We encourage you to take this opportunity to check with your son to see how he is feeling and ask if he is struggling. You will have received an email from Ryan Greer, Deputy Headmaster, containing helpful resources to assist you in your conversations.
My heartfelt gratitude goes out to the many in the Marist community that have expressed their condolences and provided support to the family.
