Growing Beautiful Boys to Good Men
It is always great to welcome our boys back after a term break refreshed and ready for another busy term ahead. The busyness of school life will once again become the rhythm of their days balancing study demands, cocurricular pursuits, social activities, and family life. There are many reasons to be grateful.
We are all shocked and shamed with the ongoing reports of men’s violent behaviour towards women. The rightful anger and protests across the country have us all wondering how we can raise boys to be better men? How can we ensure our society is one where we all feel safe and secure? What is it in our society that allows some men to feel that violence is a justified option?
This is a cultural issue and there is no magic pill to prevent boyfriends or husbands, or former intimate partners from acting violently against women. It is tied up with insecurity and loneliness, easy access to pornography, hateful social media influencers, financial pressures, alcohol addiction, failure to deal with rejection, and a boy-code that celebrates aggression, where conquest is everything and control is expected.
There is much to do in schools and families, in legislation, in the courts, and investment into mental health support. All of us are in the business of growing beautiful boys into good men. Our collective responsibility is to first call out not only violent behaviour against women, but all violent behaviour. We must challenge abusive, derogatory, sexual comments, and sexual innuendo. We need generational change. Women have been fighting these behaviours for too long. This is a male issue and we men need to step up. We each have an opportunity to be a leader. Let’s call out macho sexist rubbish, let’s not allow talk about sexual conquests and misconduct, and aggressive language. For our sons we must model how to be beautiful, loving, and respectful men. For our sons and daughters, we must model the needed attributes for a loving partner.
The College has been working, in partnership with parents, on our respectful relationships program for some years now as a strategic priority. I have had the privilege to work in boys’ schools for over 35 years and I believe Marist is in an important position to have honest, sometimes confronting conversations with our boys about men when they behave poorly. Further, we can demonstrate there are many fine ways to being a kind, generous and loving man. In doing so, their formation as good men will enrich society, fostering a world that is a little more authentic, humane and a more just place to live for all.
